Old Wounds, New Growth - Chapter 16

Translator: Deyonna

*Unedited

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Early in the morning, I went to Class 25, but it was empty.

Surprisingly, Li Chishu was not there. According to his usual time standard, waking up at 7 am is considered as sleeping in. It was already 9 am and he was nowhere to be seen which is really strange.

No one answered the phone when I called, so I decided to go to the boys' dormitory based on the senior high school dormitory number that he had mentioned to me once. I went up to the third floor and found the room where Li Chishu lived. The door was slightly ajar, so I knocked twice, but there was no response.

In the boys' dormitory, there were eight people sharing a room. Li Chishu had mentioned that he slept on the bottom bunk of the first bed near the entrance. He used to joke about his dorm life, saying, "They always like to sit on my bed as soon as they enter the room. I have to wash my sheets frequently."

I told him, "You can ask them to get up."

Li Chishu at that point defended them. "But when they sit on my bed and chat it's also quite interesting."

He seemed to always be able to forgive and tolerate the offenses of the world against him. When bad things happen, he will always find a way to think positively. But no matter how many ways he could come up with, there were times when his mind felt exhausted. Unfortunately, Li Chishu had rarely encountered any good things in his life. As he tried to console himself, he inadvertently pushed himself into a dead end, unable to figure out how to make his life better.

I carefully pushed the door open and as soon as I entered, I saw the washed-shiny lunchbox and the insulation bag on the left side of the desk, placed together with the exercise books. Under Li Chishu's bed, there were neatly arranged pairs of slippers, sneakers, and canvas shoes. Hanging at the head of the bed was a half-dry school uniform. His bedsheets are so white and faded. On the bed was a bulging mass of a person. He was curled up inside, asleep.

There was no one else in the dormitory. I crouched in front of his bed and caught a whiff of the familiar, subtle scent of soap coming from him. His bedsheets and clothes also carried the same simple and clean fragrance.

Li Chishu was sound asleep, with the blanket pulled up high, covering his ears and only revealing a small portion of his face.

I was worried that he was sick, so I gently placed the back of my hand to his forehead. But his temperature was quite normal.

After that, his eyes moved slightly, and he half-awake half-asleep opened his eyes and looked at me.

I tilted my head at him. "Xiaobao, it's time to wake up."

Xiaobao. It was only when I saw him huddled under the quilt that I remembered that Li Chishu also had a nickname, Xiaobao.

Before his death, he had a severe flu during the transition from summer to autumn in September, just like the current season, where wearing too much feels hot, and wearing too little feels cold.

Li Chishu had a fever intermittently for several days, but he refused to go to the hospital or unwilling to let me call the family doctor. He was already avoiding any contact with outsiders. He would only take medication sporadically, and spent his days and nights sleeping in the darkness, in a drowsy and lethargic state.

I hurriedly rushed back home from my business trip. The house was hot as a steamer, but Li Chishu had wrapped himself up like a dumpling. I pulled back the blanket and felt his burning hot body covered in cold sweat.

Li Chishu doesn't like to use the air conditioning. He says it makes his nose and throat uncomfortable. However, the different settings on the standing fans at home are not suitable. If I placed it far away, they don't have much effect, but if I place them closer, he complains about the wind blowing too hard on him.

I reached out to a friend who worked at a hospital and obtained several bottles of intravenous medication. With determination[1], I learned how to administer injections. I practiced on my own arm, creating a row of punctures. After I felt confident enough, I took the medication back and administered the IV drip to Li Chishu myself.

[1]Mustering up the courage to carry a gun and go into battle

After three small bottles of medication, Li Chishu's fever finally subsided.

 

When he woke up in the middle of the night, I was fanning him with a thin stack of blueprints, and at the same time, I was watching the time to change his medicine for the IV drip.

Li Chishu's gaze wandered on every inch of my face, as if he knew that there might not be much time left, so he couldn't get enough of looking at me. Then, he sighed. "Why do I always trouble you?"

"It's good that you know you're troublesome." I stared at him. "Just be obedient and take the IV drip to get better soon. Then let's see how I deal with you."

Li Chishu lowered his gaze and smiled, his eyes drifting towards the stack of blueprints I was using to fan him.

"When I was a child, my mother used to comfort me like this," he suddenly spoke, his voice gentle and hoarse, as if these words to him had been long forgotten. "We couldn't afford to buy an electric fan at home, and it was so hot. I would incessantly cry in her arms from the heat, and she would hold me with one hand while using a paper fan with the other to cool me down. She would sing to me and say, ‘Good Xiaobao, go to sleep quickly’."

He raised his thin, bony hand with the IV drip attached. "Just like you, even the way you fan me is the same."

"Xiaobao?" I leaned closer and teased him. "They also call Li Chishu Xiaobao?"

"Yes." He admitted in a gentle tone, his gaze drifting towards the ceiling as he looked back to a long time ago. "When I was very young, the older brother downstairs gave me his old bicycle. My mother and father taught me how to ride it in the embankment. They ran ahead while I rode behind, crying out of fear. My mother turned back and clapped her hands towards me, saying, Xiaobao, don't be afraid. Mama is here. Come chase after Mama."

I listened quietly, it was rare for him to talk so much in one day, so I encouraged him to continue. "What else?"

"What else..." Li Chishu struggled to think, his words drifting like dust in this empty room. "When I just started kindergarten. It was early and they hadn't gone to work in another city yet. They would send me to school every morning. I didn't want to get up, and my mother would call in my ear, 'Xiaobao, it's time to get up.'"

"Shen Baoshan." He suddenly called me, then turned his head away, gazing at the dark wardrobe. And whispered for the first time, in a deep, uncontrollable nasal voice, "I miss my mother a little."

I was stunned. I forced myself to hold back my tears, grabbed his hand and said with a smile, "Then you treat me as your mother."

He didn't speak.

Later in his life, he never heard anyone call him Xiaobao again.

Two days after he recovered, he jumped from the building.

Li Chishu didn't give me a chance to call him Xiaobao.

I took advantage and called out his nickname while he was still in a daze. Li Chishu obviously didn't hear it clearly. He looked at me with a hazy gaze for a few seconds before suddenly sitting up and widening his eyes. "Shen Baoshan?"

"It's me," I replied, still crouching down with my arms crossed on my knees, looking up at him. "Li Chishu, why are you still lying in bed?"

"I…"

Li Chishu glanced out the window, his eyes full of surprise, then reached under his pillow to find his handy phone[2]. When he pressed it to light the screen, he saw a missed call from me, and the time displayed was already 9:30 AM.

[3] It's a phone model with classic design similar to Siemens SL45

"I had my phone on silent, so I didn't hear it." He apologized to me first, then lowered his head in frustration. "How come I also did not hear the alarm clock…"

I pointed at him. "What did you do last night? Tell me honestly."

Li Chishu slowly raised his head. "I didn't do anything."

"Then why did you wake up so late today?"

Li Chishu didn't say anything.

I observed him, then realization dawned on me. "Li Chishu—could it be that you didn't... didn't sleep at all last night?"

Li Chishu still pretended to be mute.

I leaned my body forward, grabbed onto the iron bed rail and sat next to him, specifically lowering my head to meet his gaze. "Why couldn't you sleep last night?"

Li Chishu calmly shifted to the side.

"Could it be that, it's because I—”

Before I could finish my sentence, Li Chishu lifted the covers from the other side of the bed and smoothly ran towards the bathroom. "I'm going to brush my teeth."

I pouted at his back, let out a soft snort, and unhurriedly helped him fold the blanket.

After folding the blanket and putting away the lunchbox, Li Chishu also finished getting ready and came out.

I considerately stood outside the door and said, "Change your clothes. Let's go to the cafeteria for a meal."

I originally thought that Li Chishu should have finished his breakfast as usual. I only brought enough food for one meal today. Situation like this suddenly arose, and I didn't expect that because of my confession, this person couldn't sleep all night. So I decided to take him to the cafeteria for brunch.

Li Chishu seemed hungry as he swiped his card to get two portions of food. After pushing my portion towards me, he remained silent and focused on eating.

He seemed to be eating seriously.

I crossed my arms and looked at him sternly. "Li Chishu, what are you so nervous about?"

Li Chishu paused eating, almost choking. I handed him the soup, and he tilted his head back, drinking it all in one go.

"Really?" Li Chishu put down his bowl and continued eating, refusing to meet my eyes. "I'm not nervous at all."

"Why don't you eat some vegetables?" I said, "You're just eating plain rice."

"......"

Really promising.

It's exactly the same as the first time he asked me out to a meal back in university.

I took his insulated cup over, poured the hot water into the lid and let it cool. Then, I picked up the chopsticks to pick out the ginger slices and Sichuan peppercorns in the dish for him, and put the beef into his bowl. "Did you know that next Saturday, the third year seniors won't have classes? We'll have a holiday on Friday afternoon."

Li Chishu silently mixed the thinly sliced beef into the white rice and ate it. "Really? Why?"

I moved the plate of fish from the insulation bag prepared by the aunty at home and leisurely picked out the fish bones for him. "The junior high school department and the third year seniors are jointly organizing a food festival. The school specifically prepared this for the third year seniors."

First Middle High School is a school that values humanistic care. Even in the senior year, the academic affairs office ensures that students have two physical education classes every week. In order to prevent students from feeling too much pressure with nowhere to vent. In the two semesters of third year seniors, the first semester will be arranged to have a joint food festival with the junior high school department, and the second semester will have a special spring outing.

"Oh..." Li Chishu thought for a moment, figured it out and asked me, "Are you going?

I asked back, "Aren't you going?"

He put the ginger slices I picked aside into the bowl and ate them together. "I have a lot of homework next week."

"But I want to go." I dipped the fish in the oil soup and then put it on his rice. "I'll go and sing for you. What kind of song do you like to hear?"

"Sing?" Li Chishu finally looked up from his plate at me. "I don't have…"

"Then I'll pick for myself." I leaned in closer to him. "Do you listen to Jay Chou?"

"Jay Chou?"

I smiled and sang a few lines to him, "In the past, in the past, there was someone who loved you for a long time.[3]

[3]Sunny/Fine Day by Jay Chou

Li Chishu lowered his head, bit into the fish bite after bite, and pretended to ask casually, "What's the name of this song?"

"This song is called a song to sing for Li Chishu."

 "......" Li Chishu looked at me speechlessly.

"Well, you'll find out once I sing it."

I started drizzling honey over the sliced dragon fruit. "Go, okay?"

Li Chishu said nothing.

"Li Chishu, go okay?"

“......”

"Go, please."

Li Chishu finally agreed to go.

"Don't forget." I reminded him before heading home in the evening. "On Friday, go to the swimming pool and wait for me."

-

October 16th, Sunny

Today, I ran into Shen Baoshan in the staircase. He seemed to be going to play basketball. He didn't see me.

Maybe he saw me but didn't know me.

October 16th, Sunny

I couldn't fall asleep until 6 o'clock in the morning today. Shen Baoshan even caught me.

While eating, he sang a song for me. It sounded really nice, but Shen Baoshan didn't tell me the name of the song. I can only accompany him to the food festival next week to hear him sing.

Shen Baoshan should be good at singing any song.

I dreamt about my mom in the morning. When I woke up, I heard Shen Baoshan calling me Xiaobao. Maybe I wasn't fully awake and couldn't distinguish between the dream and Shen Baoshan.

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Translator's Corner: Sorry for the late update, been procrastinating a lot lately.😓🙇‍♀️

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