Old Wounds, New Growth - Chapter 17. 2
Translator: Deyonna
In the food festival, the school mostly brings in vendors from outside food streets and some chain brands to set up a temporary food market. Students can also set up stalls to sell their own creations, making for a lively weekend that eventually disperses.
I usually don't eat these messy things. In those years when Li Chishu's health was not good, even if it was takeout, I would not let him order fast food from those delivery platforms. Most of the time, I would contact some restaurants that I often go to and use my premium membership card to have the food packed and specially delivered to him at home.
But last week, Jiang Chi's words woke me up. "Those are things you don't like. That's your personal preference. But have you ever considered that cleanliness is one thing, and whether Li Chishu wants to eat them is another? Whether they are good or bad, he hasn't even had a chance to try them. Isn't he allowed to have cravings?"
In fact, it was just Jiang Ci trying to drag me along.
In the middle of the junior high school department square, there is a makeshift singing stage. The winner can receive twenty free meal tickets, which means they can eat at the venue for free.
Jiang Chi is not short of money, but he just enjoys these kinds of cheap and lively events.
I thought to myself that Li Chishu was seventeen or eighteen years old now, on the stage of growing up, and it's okay for him to indulge in some junk food. It's not good to guard him too strictly. The most important thing is for him to be happy. After considering this, I decided to take him out for a stroll.
At the food festival, transactions are not done with cash. Instead, you exchange your money for meal tickets at the entrance. Each meal ticket costs five yuan. I estimated the prices of the snacks on the food street and decided to exchange twenty meal tickets. As we walked along, I planned to buy a variety of snacks for Li Chishu to try.
Very quickly, he ended up with so many disposable food containers that could be carried by more than two people.
"Shen Baoshan, don't buy anymore," he reminded me several times in my ear. "We can't finish it all. It's very wasteful."
"It's not wasteful," I said as I led him to the singing stage. I arranged for him to sit at a small table next to the stage. "Sit tight. We'll earn it back in no time."
He sat on the small bench with his back against the school bulletin stand while I joined the queue to participate in the singing competition.
The singing on the stage never stopped since we entered the venue. There was a constant stream of people participating in the competition, and the area around the stage was packed with people. It was hard to move. After completing the registration process, I sat on the side, waiting for my turn. My line of sight fell on Li Chishu and I keenly sensed something was wrong.
He had placed all the food, big and small, on the small table in front of the bench. However, he stood with his back to the table, standing upright and staring at the school bulletin stand without moving a muscle—that kind of posture could not be said to be just straight, but rigid, very unnaturally rigid.
I am a person who has a lot of say when it comes to Li Chishu's back, after all, what he left me most in his previous life was his back. When he refuses to communicate with the outside world, he would hide in the darkest corners when no one is paying attention. Most of the time, it would be in a room where he is unwilling to turn on the lights, lying curled up on the bed alone. Even if he's fully aware that I am standing at the door, watching over him, he still doesn't have the strength to turn around and face the light.
I have thoroughly studied every moment of his back in the twenty-four hours a day, what he is thinking when he stares at the dark room, what he is contemplating when he stands looking down at the bustling streets from the floor-to-ceiling window.
He persists in using silence as a resistance against all external touch, and I can only tirelessly[1] learn to unlock his silence.
[1]to enjoy sth and never tire of it (idiom)
At this moment, my intuition is telling me that Li Chishu's emotions are undergoing some unusual turmoil.
Just as I was about to get up and approach him, he suddenly lowered his head and lifted his hand to cover his ear. Then, he slowly crouched down to the ground.
"Li Chishu!" I threw away the registration number in my hand, pushed through the crowd, and ran towards him.
Li Chishu's face turned pale, gasping for breath with his mouth open. He seemed to have heard my calls getting closer and farther away, and he slightly struggled to lift his head.
I quickly reached his side.
"What's wrong?" I reached out and covered his hand that was covering his ear and felt his forehead. "Are you feeling unwell?"
He took a couple of deep breaths, and his complexion improved slightly. He released his hand a bit and tilted his ear for a moment before saying, "...I'm fine. I just seemed to have a bit of tinnitus."
"Tinnitus?"
This is one of the symptoms that often torments Li Chishu during his illness in the very late night. I can't believe it, this symptom showed signs so early.
Li Chishu's lips still had a pale hue, and I grabbed him and asked, "Have you also had tinnitus before? How long has it been? Is it usually this severe?"
He pondered for a moment, shaking his head with uncertainty. "Probably not."
Seeing that my expression did not ease, Li Chishu said again with certainty, "It never happened before. It's much better now. Really."
"Then, just now..." I suddenly realized something and looked up at the school bulletin stand. Apart from the stack of composition papers filling the stand, I didn't see anything out of the ordinary.
I originally thought about taking a closer look, but Li Chishu tugged at my wrist. "Shen Baoshan, I want to go back to the classroom and sit."
I quickly supported him. "Let's go."
As we walked, Li Chishu turned his head back. "Food…"
"No need."
Since Li Chishu said that he had never experienced such severe tinnitus before—although there is a possibility that he may be hiding or downplaying the severity of his condition, judging from his honest character, it is likely that the situation has not yet reached a point where it is affecting his mental state.
If it's not a mental issue, then it could be due to his physical condition. The biggest factor contributing to Li Chishu's sudden condition today could be his inadequate nutrition.
For dinner, I watched him finish a whole portion of turbot fish and half a lobster that was delivered to our home. I also made him drink half a cup of walnut sesame paste before letting him go back to his dormitory.
I watched as Li Chishu entered the dormitory’s entrance, and then I put my bag on my back and turned to head towards the junior high school department.
Even though the possibility is extremely low, I still need to confirm that there is no anomaly at the school bulletin stand. In this world, there are so many coincidences that can happen to Li Chishu, but it must be under the condition that I cannot find any problems with a hundred percent certainty.
-
October 21st, Sunny
The weather is great today. On my way to the cafeteria, I saw Shen Baoshan entering the swimming pool. He must be going to swim.
I wonder how many sets of clothes I will bring this time.
October 21st, Sunny
Today, I sat with Shen Baoshan at the swimming pool again. He hasn't changed at all, but he has grown taller. Time flies.
It was my first time eating lobster, and Shen Baoshan gave it all to me.
The walnut sesame paste was sticky. It seems like Shen Baoshan's aunt can make anything. He told me to nourish my brain, get enough sleep, and eat the meals his aunt prepared.
I couldn't hear him sing, which is a pity.
I dreamt of my mother last night. She was actually warning me. If only I had known, I wouldn't have gone there.
But if I didn't go, I wouldn't be able to hear Shen Baoshan sing or spend more time with him.
Forget it. In the end, I didn't get to hear it, anyway.
Shen Baoshan must have prepared for a long time. Sigh.
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