Old Wounds, New Growth - Chapter 23
Translator: Deyonna
Li Chishu maintained an almost childish stubbornness when it came to certain rituals. This stubbornness nourished his weak spiritual world in his youth and lasted throughout his life.
For example, on the weekend when he receives the subsidy money every month, he must clean up all the textbooks and test papers on his desk after returning to the classroom before he can leisurely enjoy the fruits he had carefully selected under the sunset. And every Lunar New Year, he would go to the market and buy ten yuan worth of lean meat to cook a bowl of noodles for himself. The order of eating the noodles was always to eat the noodles first, then the vegetables, and finally, slowly savor the shredded meat in the bowl. Even ten years later, when he had enough savings to live a comfortable life, he would still solemnly place a complete set of new clothes for both me and him on the bedside the night before every New Year's Day. He would have already visited the mall half a month in advance to choose the same style and carefully select the clothes. During that half month, his eyes would sparkle with anticipation.
In fact, regardless of wealth or poverty, good or bad days, Li Chishu was adept at weaving or adhering to such a sense of ritual to satisfy his own happiness. It was his way of seeking nourishment in a world that didn't always show him much kindness.
It is difficult to say who achieved whom between the astonishing resilience of Li Chishu's reed-like life force and his indomitable spirit. Both were indispensable to him. So when life was no longer filled with hardships, Li Chishu also lost the motivation to fight against his fate. The fruits and new clothes were like small roots and stems that he clung to in this land. As Li Chishu's material life became abundant, they gradually withered, leaving only a taut and fragile thread. Any carelessness could cause it to break, leading to irreparable consequences.
He came into this world, and walked alone for thirty years, as if he was on a mission to endure suffering. If someone had appeared earlier to love him, he would have gradually become more relaxed. Li Chishu, like a wild grass, only needed a little relaxation and a firm love to sustain his life.
"There will be more than just new clothes to wear on New Year's, Li Chishu," I told him. "Apart from clothes, there will be many other things as well."
Li Chishu said sincerely, "No need... Actually, that one is already good enough."
I also asked sincerely, "So there's also 'no need' for Potato?"
"......"
Li Chishu remained silent for a moment. "I will wear the sweater in the afternoon."
I beamed and patted his shoulder. "Very obedient."
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On the day of the holiday, the weather was beautiful. Li Chishu's grocery bags were half full as he packed up to go home, but his school bag was very full. I accompanied him to the entrance of his home, but before we could go up and sit for a while, I received a phone call asking me to go to a hotel for a reunion dinner[1] for a meal. As expected, this reunion dinner would continue until the eve of the Lunar New Year[2].
[1]团年饭 (tuán nián fàn) specifically refers to the reunion dinner that takes place on Lunar New Year's Eve
[2]大年三十 (dà nián sān shí) refers to the last day of the lunar year in the Lunar calendar, also known as Lunar New Year's Eve.
For the next two days, I rushed around the city, accompanying different relatives from my family for meals. During that time, I managed to leave the banquet temporarily and went to the counter to order a meal for Li Chishu. I also took the opportunity to pay extra and asked the hotel staff to deliver the meal to the entrance of his home.
When Li Chishu's text message came, I was leaning against the railing outside the restaurant to get some fresh air. Upon opening it, it was still the familiar short question in Li Chishu's style, [Did you ask someone to deliver the meal? Thank you.]
I exited the text message and dialed his phone number.
The "beep" sound lasted for only a second before Li Chishu answered, "Hello?"
"Li Chishu," I was bored to death as I looked at the fountain in the center of the garden below. "Why didn't you call me?"
"Um..." he hesitated for a few seconds, as he always did. "I was afraid that you might be busy and can't answer."
"Well, when you sent me a text message, you should have asked me 'Can you answer the phone now?' instead of 'Who sent the meal?'."
Li Chishu asked, "Is there any difference?"
"How can it not?"
"But you still called me."
"......"
Indeed.
"Alright." This time it was my turn to admit defeat.
"Have you eaten?" I asked.
"I just opened it." Li Chishu's voice sounded a bit louder in the receiver. I guessed he was using his shoulder and ear to hold the phone in between, while his hands were busy opening the takeout box. "Is this food from your home?"
"It's from the hotel."
I heard him let out a small sigh of admiration, something like a quiet "Wow."
"How is it?" I waited for a moment before asking, "Is it delicious?"
He responded with a muffled and forceful "Mn," sounding like his mouth was busy. After he finished chewing, he quickly said, "These dishes. They are beautifully prepared."
I chuckled. "Hotels always pay attention to these details. Any plans for tomorrow's Lunar New Year?"
"Tomorrow..." Li Chishu said as he continued eating, at the same time slowly planning. "I'll do some homework in the daytime, check the electricity bill, and, if possible, watch some TV in the evening."
I suddenly asked, "Do you want Potato?"
Potato has grown so big that it can no longer fit in my clothes. Li Chishu hasn't seen it for almost a month.
He said, "Want. I don't know when I'll be able to see it again."
On the evening of Lunar New Year's Eve, I brought Potato to see Li Chishu.
Along with it, I also brought many other things: a set of clothes for Li Chishu to wear for the New Year, a cashmere blanket, a cake, various toiletries products, and some ingredients and milk for the next day's meal that I planned to cook for him.
At 11 o'clock in the evening, after finishing the New Year’s family dinner at home, the elders formed their own groups and went upstairs to play chess and mahjong. Taking advantage of the people's distraction, I slung the backpack carrying Potato on my back and carried two full grocery plastic bags as I quietly slipped out of the first floor. Before leaving, I casually found someone, saying, "I'm going to find Jiang Chi."
Li Chishu's house and mine are in different parts of the city, with his in the east and mine in the west. Half an hour later, I picked up the pre-ordered cake from the bakery. After passing through a narrow alley, I arrived at the entrance of the tube-shaped apartment building. Looking up, I noticed that the only apartment on the top floor was completely dark.
My first reaction was to take out my phone and open the contacts. However, after a moment of thought, I realized that since I was already here, why not go up and personally see what happened? It wouldn't be too late to call Li Chishu if I didn't find him.
There were only a few residents in the building, occupying the first and second floors. All the doors and windows were tightly shut, and only the faint sound of the Spring Festival Gala could be heard echoing through the staircase.
When I reached the third floor, even the motion sensor lights were not working. They'd probably been malfunctioning all year round. I switched the plastic bag to my other hand and used my phone's flashlight to illuminate the way up. Potato on my back occasionally made soft sounds as I climbed.
Time always feels much longer in the darkness. I took each step carefully, listening to the sound of my own breath. At that moment, I recalled a few rare occasions when Li Chishu had shared with me some details about his life on the New Year.
For Li Chishu, Lunar New Year's Eve was not much different from the other 360-plus days of the year. He would get up, freshen up, cook a bowl of sesame oil noodles, read, cook, turn on the induction cooker, stir-fry two dishes, eat, continue reading, sweep the floor, mop the floor, do laundry, reheat leftovers, sit on the balcony for a while after dinner, watch the sunset, go back inside and turn on the TV, watch the Spring Festival Gala, take a shower, and go to bed. This was his Lunar New Year's Eve, his birthday, his second day of the Lunar New Year, and his third day of the Lunar New Year… countless mornings and evenings in his life.
So I think when Li Chishu said he disliked holidays. This was one of the very few betrayals of his inner childlike nature.
"At least in the dormitory, I can take a hot shower by swiping my school card." He once said, "And although I don't like to talk, it's interesting to listen to my roommates' conversations. But when I go home, I have to spend many days alone. Sometimes, the only way to hear someone else's voice at home is by turning on the TV.'"
No wonder Li Chishu enjoys watching TV so much. During the years I lived with him, whenever I returned from a business trip, the TV or a movie would always be playing at home. And Li Chishu would often curl up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, and fall asleep.
My footsteps on the stairs suddenly came to a halt.
Li Chishu once experienced a power outage at home on Lunar New Year's Eve. He went to the stairwell to check the wiring and ended up getting electrocuted and fainting. When he mentioned this to me, he casually mentioned it without specifying which year of Lunar New Year's Eve it happened.
I set down the grocery bags in my hand, took off my backpack on the stairs, and quickly sprinted towards the fifth floor.
At the corner of the staircase on the fifth floor, there was a figure whose features were barely visible, standing on a plastic stool and reaching out to grab the electrical wires on the wall.
I gasped in shock, unable to utter a word, and rushed over to grab the person from behind, lifting him up in my arms.
"What are you doing?!" I pressed him against the wall, my tone unintentionally harsh due to urgency.
Li Chishu clearly hadn't regained his senses. After a moment of silence, he tentatively touched my arm and said, "...Shen Baoshan?"
I sighed in relief and regretted raising my voice at him earlier. I softened my tone and said, "Yes, it's me."
Li Chishu's tense body instantly relaxed.
"What were you doing just now?" I asked again.
He looked up at the ceiling. "The power suddenly went out at home, so I was checking it…"
"You shouldn't have touched the wires directly." I grope my hands from his shoulders to his hands. "Did you touch anything?"
Li Chishu is very expensive. In all those years, I never let him do anything like check the wires or even change light bulbs at home. I noticed early on that he had a certain level of fear when it came to standing on stools or chairs. Now, looking back, it must be a psychological shadow caused by the brief loss of consciousness after being electrocuted and falling off the stool while checking the wires on Lunar New Year's Eve.
"I'm fine." He held my arm with his hand. There was a hint of joy in his voice as he regained his senses. "Why did you come here?"
Having just experienced a moment of panic, I now felt the cold sweat running down my back. Feeling completely drained, I rested my head on his shoulder and weakly said, "I missed you."
Li Chishu lowered his head, undoubtedly smiling to himself.
"Let me rest for a while," I said, raising my hand to embrace him. I noticed that Li Chishu's down jacket was unbuttoned, and underneath, he was wearing the set of pure cotton pajamas I had given him. He also had the cashmere scarf I had given him last month wrapped around his neck.
The faint scent of soap lingered in the cramped space, barely noticeable, yet every wisp of fragrance seemed to seep into my every breath.
My heart started to race again.
"You've taken a shower?" I undo his scarf and wrap the other half around my neck. I playfully rub my nose against his face, one moment touching, the next not.
"En." Li Chishu nodded and laughed, trying to dodge me. "Shen Baoshan, it tickles."
"Give you a kiss. It won't tickle anymore."
After I finished speaking, without giving him time to react, I kissed him directly.
At first, Li Chishu tried to push me away twice, but soon he leaned against the wall, panting and disoriented. Amidst the mingling of our lips and the sound of our breaths, perhaps because he couldn't breathe properly, Li Chishu struggled into my embrace. "Shen... Shen Baoshan, stop for a moment..."
After those words were spoken, we pressed closer together and our kiss became intense. I dare not say I wasn't the one initiating it, but Li Chishu was definitely not completely passive, either.
Soon, I noticed something was off with him—Li Chishu was reacting to me.
The fabric of his pajama pants was too thin, and I could feel it completely as I pressed against him.
I was momentarily stunned. He turned his face away and gasped for breath, immediately trying to wriggle out of my embrace.
I quickly grabbed him and held him tightly between my arms. "Why are you running away?"
He lowered his head, not uttering a word.
"I'll help you."
I placed my right hand on his waist. Whether he said "yes" or "no," there was only one outcome.
But he only continued to gasp for breath, refusing to give me a response.
After a few more seconds - perhaps a dozen seconds, I wasn't sure. The wait for his response felt excruciatingly long - Li Chishu very slowly raised his hands and tugged on the fabric of my sleeves.
As I touched him, he let out a soft hum, and in the darkness, his eyes were silently asking for comfort from me.
I leaned down and kissed him, granting his request. Li Chishu responded actively, parting his lips and tilting his head back to take in my breath.
His fingers were clutching tighter and tighter in my clothes, but his body quickly lost its strength and he leaned against me. Even every breath and suppressed gasp was under my control, following my up and down movements.
"Shen... Shen Baoshan..." Li Chishu pressed his forehead against my shoulder, gasping heavily and urgently. In the next second, after he spasms, I quickly used my other hand to embrace his body, preventing his legs from giving way and sliding down.
In the distant night sky, there was a sudden burst of fireworks and firecrackers, one after another.
New Year has arrived.
I withdrew my hand from his pants and wrapped my other arm around his lower back. I took out a handkerchief from the grocery bag[3] and wiped it clean before tucking aside the sweaty strands of hair clinging to his forehead. Slowly, I helped him up. "Li Chishu, you're eighteen now. Happy birthday."
[3]When SBS was on the stairs he only left the backpack carrying Potato on the floor. In the next chapter, SBS came back to get Potato, there's no mention of the grocery bags.
Lol, I was wrong SBS also left the 2 grocery bags in with Potato. I must have remembered it wrong. So it was the author who forgot that SBS left the bags.
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Translator's Corner: Check out the Update Calendar below for updates. And in case you saw the blank week in the end of the calendar, I will take two weeks break. In the end of the week of this month and the first week of April.
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