Old Wounds, New Growth - Chapter 29. 2

Translator: Deyonna

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I pushed Li Chishu forward all the way, held his shoulder, and slowly opened the door, turning on the lights from behind.

When the pendant light in the room lit up, Li Chishu’s footsteps paused at the doorway.

I heard him take a shallow breath, then it seemed as if he had forgotten how to breathe.

I have to admit that the piano room my mom arranged for me is indeed not small. Inside, two grand pianos are placed side by side. One is for the family teacher to use, which has been left there since I entered senior high school.

Next to the pianos are two wooden cabinets specially made by a master craftsman in traditional handicrafts, commissioned by my mother, to display all the trophies and awards I have accumulated since I was young, both prestigious and not so prestigious, a jumble of them all have a dedicated spot. Outside the floor-to-ceiling window is the backyard garden of the house, and the other two walls are adorned with my photographs, each one framed in a special frame that matches the cabinets, most of them taken by my mother when I was practicing piano and receiving awards, while the photos of other events are in other rooms.

I pushed Li Chishu to walk and looked around.

"This one is from when I was four years old and my mom took me to the store to pick out a piano. This photo is the one she secretly took when I first touched the keys."

"This one is when I first sat down at it."

"This one is from when I had my first piano lesson at home," I pointed towards the window, "right there in that spot."

"This one is from when I had a tantrum for the first time because I didn’t want to practice, and I looked so ugly crying. It was not enough for my mother to capture." I laughed and then said, "My mom wished she could directly take photos with her eyes."

Li Chishu also laughed along with me.

His eyes were shining as his gaze flowed from one photograph to the next, looking back and forth as if trying to determine if the person in the photos was Shen Baoshan.

"How wonderful." He stood in front of me, looking up at the wall of photographs. "Your mother really loves you. She remembers all your…"

He pondered, searching for the right word. "Glory."

Li Chishu repeated it once more. I saw the back of his bobbing. "En, she remembers all your glory. She really loves you."

"Yes." I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind, raising my hand and gently tracing circles on the crown of his head. "Li Chishu, do you know that remembering all your glory is love, and remembering all your regrets is also love?"

Li Chishu responded with a mix of understanding and confusion. "Hmm."

I helplessly knocked the top of his head in exasperation. "You’re really dense sometimes."

"Mm... Ah?"

I held his face close to mine. "Li Chishu, from now on, I will also remember all your glory. Your photos will hang alongside mine, filling this room, other rooms, and other houses."

He started fiddling with the fabric of his pants by his leg again, looking straight into my eyes as he asked, "Will you take pictures of me like this, too?"

"I will," I said. "And if you’d like, my mother will too."

Li Chishu looked blank. "She will what?"

"Will also take photos of you and remember your glory. Your happiness, all the moments worth remembering about you."

I said, "She will also love you the same way she loves me."

Li Chishu was in a daze.

"Didn’t you know?" I told him, "Mom loves all the children in the world. And Li Chishu, you are the child who is most worthy of being loved. Whoever sees you will love you."

I think I need to say this sentence to Li Chishu every morning when he wakes up so that he can believe in this fact, even though he is so rigid and distrustful of the world.

When this thought flashed in my mind, I was already carrying Li Chishu, kissing him all the way to the bed in the study room next door.

He panted heavily in the brief moments I left his lips, his hands clasped over his stomach. The small amount of alcohol he had consumed earlier seemed to be taking effect, making Li Chishu’s speech slightly incoherent.

He said, "Shen Baoshan, I think there seems to be a deer running in my stomach."

"That’s not a deer." I said, "Li Chishu, there can’t be a running deer in a person’s stomach."

He blinked. "Then what is it? I feel it moving really fast."

"It’s your heartbeat and love."

I kissed him again, guiding Li Chishu’s hands to wrap around my waist and reaching into my jacket’s pocket.

He felt the condom packet inside but didn’t take it out. He only rolled the packaging between his fingers and asked, "What’s this?"

I had already held his knees and spread them apart, kissing his face and ears one by one. "Condom."

This kind of knowledge was still too advanced for Li Chishu. He probably had an inkling of what we were about to do, but didn’t expect that it would require such a thing.

Li Chishu’s hands on my back felt their way up to my shoulders, and he spoke incoherently, "I... I shouldn’t be able to get pregnant."

I nearly couldn’t hold it in, and ended up laughing out loud, while also reaching to roll up the hem of his nightshirt, my palm sliding up, higher and higher.

"You don’t need to worry, indeed you won’t get pregnant." I lifted myself up slightly, looking down at him. "But this still has some other uses."

Saying that, I buried my head in his chest.

Perhaps due to pain or arousal, Li Chishu let out intermittent cries.

"Shen Baoshan..." His neck tilted back, voicing a soft protest. "Your fingers... are too long…"

I knew Li Chishu’s body better than he himself did. The benefit of this is that Li Chishu won’t have to suffer too much tonight.

When he was forced to accept the pleasure for the first time, his two calves hanging on my shoulders visibly twitched, and Li Chishu parted his lips and screamed for the first time.

I leaned in and kissed him, withdrawing my fingers as Li Chishu was still lost in the afterglow of his first time.

Soon he furrowed his brow again. "Shen Baoshan... don’t…"

"Xiaobao..." I cut off his words, leaning in close to his ear to praise him. "...You’re doing so well."

Li Chishu forcibly swallowed down the struggling words.

He pressed his lips tightly together, his knees sandwiching my waist painfully.

Going in a bit more.

"Good boy..." I nuzzled his earlobe and neck with my forehead. "Would you like to be even more good?"

Li Chishu’s eyes were brimming with tears, his brows furrowed tightly. He was suffering in silence, wrestling internally over and over again to whether agree to my words.

After a while, he took a couple of breaths and nodded slightly, letting out a hum-like response. "En."

I grabbed his ankles and placed them back on my shoulders. Li Chishu covered his eyes with his arm and let out a cry. "Shen Baoshan... it’s too deep…"

I removed his arm, and as I leaned down, a flush gradually spread across Li Chishu’s face.

I kissed his eyes and his forehead as Li Chishu unconsciously moaned under his breath.

The tears he had shed from the pain earlier were now kissed away, and his entire eye area was now wet and red. His gaze was unfocused and dazed, his chest and neck covered in my love bites.

"Xiaobao." I pulled him closer, confining his entire body in my embrace. I lifted my thumb to press against his chin. "Don’t bite your lip."

Afraid of making noise, Li Chishu clung to my back with his hands, unable to resist my fingers pinching his chin. He let out a muffled cry, then gritted his teeth again, "No…"

"No one will hear you."

I stretched out two fingers and put them into his mouth. Li Chishu was reluctant to bite down, so the sound became louder. Gradually, saliva seeped out from the corners of his mouth.

I withdrew my fingers from his mouth and reached down, feeling his taut, slightly curled abdomen. Going further down, as soon as I grasped his hardness, Li Chishu resisted regardless. "No... Shen Baoshan... don’t…"

As soon as my hand moved, Li Chishu’s entire body went limp.

Afterward, I knelt there for a while with him in my arms. Li Chishu arched his back and crawled forward when he couldn’t bear it anymore. I simply picked him up and pushed him against the wall. Li Chishu raised his head and leaned on my shoulder, releasing a cry.

The bedsheet was a complete mess. Li Chishu had his final, prolonged spasm in my arms, no longer able to speak.

I carried him to the bathroom, taking advantage of the fact that it was almost dawn and the aunt had not yet gotten up. I sent him to the bedroom, then returned to the study to tidy up the four or five condoms and a bedsheet on the floor.

When I went back after washing and drying the clothes and quilt, Li Chishu was already curled up in the quilt, sleeping obliviously.

I propped my head up and watched him for a while, taking in his disheveled hair and the flush on his cheeks that hadn’t yet dissipated. No matter how I looked at him, I found him utterly adorable.

Then I gently pushed away the quilt he had wrapped under his face and looked at the densely packed kiss marks - it was even more adorable.

After admiring the sight for a while, I burrowed under the quilt and pulled Li Chishu into my embrace.

He sniffed a couple of times in his sleep, then snuggled closer to me.

It had only been three hours since I had closed my eyes when Jiang Chi came to my house. As I quietly left the room, I ran straight into that rascal, who immediately exploded in my ear. "The group is discussing where to go for the summer vacation! You’re the only one playing dead, so I had to come find you! How are you still sleeping? Won’t you have not enough time to sleep after death?"

I glanced back at the bedroom door and lowered my voice. "Keep it down."

"What do you mean by keep it down? I’m asking you where you want to go."

"Anywhere is fine." I pondered for a moment, then said, "We’ll discuss it later. I’ll ask Li Chishu about it."

Jiang Chi didn’t respond right away. "Li Chishu wants to go too?"

I yawned and scratched my head. "Li Chishu may not necessarily go with you guys, but I still have to ask him if he wants to go with me, so I can arrange the time."

Jiang Chi was dissatisfied. "Li Chishu, Li Chishu... is the earth going to stop turning if there’s no Li Chishu?"

I turned to go find some water at the bar counter. "I don’t know if the earth can keep turning, but without Li Chishu, I won’t be able to turn."

"You won’t be able to turn..." Jiang Chi rolled his eyes, then opened his big mouth and started speaking in a weird tone. "Still need to ask Li Chishu—"

I clicked my tongue and glanced back at the bedroom door again, hearing no movement. I reiterated to Jiang Chi, "I told you to keep it down."

He finally seemed to pick up on something being off. "What? Li Chishu is still sleeping? Didn't think he was that lazy."

"Quit your nonsense." I took a sip of the cool water, regaining a bit of energy. "He only went to sleep after 5 o'clock today."

"5 o'clock?" Jiang Chi looked toward Li Chishu's bedroom door in disbelief. "No way... What did you guys do last night?"

The sandwiches the aunt had made for me this morning were sitting on the bar counter outside the bedroom, now cooled. I picked one up and took a bite, staring at Jiang Chi without saying anything.

From Jiang Chi's rapidly changing expressions of shock to anger, I sensed that he had probably figured out the answer.

"You two…"

He raised one finger, and then it turned into five. "5 o'clock…"

I rolled my neck and headed towards the stairs to the third floor.

"Shen Baoshan... you really are a tiger[1]…"

[1] This refers to the Chinese Zodiac. Each animal is associated with certain characteristics and is believed to influence the personality traits of individuals born in that year. 

"You're a beast…"

I looked back at him. "You're a tiger too."

Jiang Chi looked blank.

I laughed. "Why are you not a beast? Is it because you can't?"[2]

[2]Shen Baoshan calling Jiang Chi single in 100 different ways, lmao

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Translator's Corner: I actually found another Weibo extra of this novel, so I guess I'll be translating it.

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