APUTFFZG Chapter 24.2

Translator: Deyonna

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His delayed understanding of what it meant to rebuild the mental landscape made his pupils shrink, and his attempt to push the female zerg away froze.

"What did you just say?" His voice was very soft, tinged with disbelief.

A mental landscape is constructed from memory and the subconscious; in other words, it's composed of all past experiences and emotions. Even if it's been wrecked and left in complete disarray, as long as the foundation remains intact, there's still a possibility of restoration.

But reconstruction meant total destruction and stripping away.

He had abandoned everything that once made up his flesh and blood, carving away the festering, putrid flesh he had clung to for too long. He had embraced a complete transformation, a bloody rebirth.

Fully realizing that Xi Ze had been enduring pain, Ye Er instinctively increased the flow of his pheromones.

The soothing mental power gathered and flowed into the mental landscape of the female zerg, where a storm was stirring.

The previously dispirited mental power suddenly jolted, like a pardoned little animal released from its cage, rubbing against Ye Er's thigh and waist, acting spoiled and silly.

"Why did you do it?"

Ye Er finally came back to his senses, feeling the female zerg's body still trembling slightly under his palm.

His eyelashes fluttered slightly, his voice wavering. "You could have healed slowly. Weren't you already getting better?"

Suppressed anger bubbled up, almost reaching a boil again. He gritted his teeth and spoke in a low voice.

"Even if you had to do this, why didn't you tell me first? If I hadn't woken up, were you going to die of pain or freeze to death on the ground? Do you know—"

He was both angry and disappointed, his voice trembling slightly at the end. "Why do you always do this?"

The female zerg's damp body lay in his arms, his hot breath spraying against Ye Er's sensitive ear. At least it proved that he was still alive, which eased Ye Er's fear somewhat.

Yet the female zerg in his arms remained oblivious, stepping right on that red line—

"Military females don't die so easily. You can rest assured. If I weren't confident, I wouldn't have done this rashly. The worst that could happen is a complete loss of mental power. It wouldn't actually endanger my life."

His voice came in fits and starts, his breathing clearly unsteady, making his words sound unconvincing.

But it only poured oil on Ye Er's anger, which was bubbling up again.

"Really?"

Ye Er let out a short sneer, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the bitterness rising in his throat. He was so angry that he couldn't stop taking deep breaths.

"So it turns out I didn't pick up a female zerg, but a bronze-cast, iron-forged, bulletproof mecha. Even when you're injured, you can't feel pain. As long as you can keep living, you won't hesitate to strip off your own arms and legs to swap in new parts. Is that it?"

"...I'm sorry."

Xi Ze said after a moment of silence, his voice strained.

Ye Er could clearly tell that the female zerg was dodging the issue, and a touch of irritation crept into his tone.

"You say sorry, but you won't change, will you?"

Sensing the male zerg's anger, Xi Ze's Adam's apple bobbed, and he said helplessly in a hoarse voice, "...But there isn't enough time."

He had endured being at the mercy of others for far too long. He couldn't wait for things to slowly improve. He had to make a quick decision.

The news that he was taken in by the male zerg has probably reached that guy's ears. This place was no longer safe.

These few days of leisure, stolen from the eye of the chaotic storm, were already an incredibly luxurious, precious gift from the heavens.

If he wanted to go on living, if he wanted to safely protect the male zerg under his wings, he couldn't just sit back and wait for death.

He didn't need to tell the male zerg about the twists and turns, the filth and ugliness. He wanted him to stand clean and safe on the sidelines, waiting for him to clear out all the trash, and then…

He had originally planned to complete the reconstruction secretly, without Ye Er knowing, but his consciousness had grown muddled in the midst of the excruciating pain.

He didn't know when, but his body had already curled up beside the male zerg's bed, as if being closer to that shallow breath would give him more strength to endure.

That alone speaks volumes.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I just couldn't control myself…"

Xi Ze nuzzled his nose against Ye Er's chin in a coaxing way, and the soft corner of his lips accidentally brushed Ye Er's jaw, making the area tense instantly.

He tried to cool the male zerg's temper, but accidentally pulled at his wound and couldn't hold back a muffled groan.

What does "not enough time" mean?

Ye Er paused slightly, vaguely sensing the dark, deep meaning hidden behind those words.

He should have gone on questioning the female zerg about what he was hiding, but anger and distress were locked in a tug-of-war, each vying for dominance.

His ears were filled with the sound of pained breathing, each breath adding weight to his heart until the scales finally tipped.

"You're really…"

Ye Er mumbled softly, then closed his eyes for a long moment, his voice tinged with resignation. "Forget it."

He gently rubbed his fingertips over the female zerg's shoulders, where large, rough wounds had recently scabbed over. He wasn't sure whether they had been torn open again. "...Do the wounds hurt?"

"Doesn't hurt…"

The physical pain was slowly receding, replaced by an unbearable itching that was just as agonizing.

Xi Ze endured it for a moment, breathing heavily, before gradually releasing his pheromones.

The bitter fragrance of tea gradually spread, blending with the sweetness of caramel and fermenting into a unique, captivating flavor.

The heat in his body had been building since earlier, and in the few short minutes of talking with the male zerg, he was already almost unable to control the rising tide of burning passion.

Although it was the male zerg who had started it, Xi Ze still politely asked, "Do you want to do it*?"

*Get your mind out of the gutter lol. Xi Ze meant mental guidance... or does he?

Ye Er, whose expression had gradually softened, immediately turned dark at those words. "Do, do, do. Do you think I'm a blockhead*? You're in this state right now. I'm afraid you'll drop dead halfway through."

*Literally big-headed ghost

Xi Ze smiled slightly. He didn't want to say those things at such an inopportune moment either, but his physical reaction couldn't be hidden.

But soon he pursed his lips again, suddenly a little worried. He wondered whether he would look too lustful and unseemly in the male zerg's eyes.

"Okay... get up."

Ye Er pressed his palm against the female zerg's head and rubbed it, not so gently.

After the previous mental guidance, he had later looked up some information and learned that pheromones don't always induce estrus in female zergs. It was just that the method he had used was flawed.

With merely a thought, the sweet scent lingering in the bathroom gradually changed.

It was still sweet, but it no longer had that heart-stirring allure. Instead, it brought a comfortable, warm, drowsy feeling that made one want to lower their guard and sleep soundly without a care.

Ye Er picked up the showerhead that had been tossed aside and sprinkled hot water over the female zerg's body again.

The bathroom was quiet for a moment, the only sounds were the rush of hot water and two breaths, one deep and one shallow, intertwined in the silence.

The heat from the central heating finally reached the bathroom, and the air, which had been a bit chilly, gradually warmed.

The female zerg in his embrace seemed to have finally gotten through the dangerous stage of the mental landscape reconstruction, and his tense body gradually relaxed.

Even without trying to sense it, the newly born vitality and abundance almost overflowed, wandering and making itself felt throughout the bathroom.

—And then one, two, three, four… countless threads of mental power outside ultimately clung to Ye Er with a "plop."

Really pathetic.

Xi Ze cursed himself silently as he sensed his mental power shifting, his earlobes inexplicably flushing with embarrassment.

The usually reserved military female couldn't express his feelings openly, but his mental power had no such reservations.

Especially the mental power reconstructed around that cabin as its "eye": it simply couldn't resist the familiar, light fragrance emanating from the male zerg.

Unlike the lively mental power, Ye Er kept his gaze lowered.

"Right now, I'm still very angry. Very, very angry."

After a long silence, he finally spoke, breaking the nearly warm, quiet atmosphere of the bathroom.

Ye Er had calmed down, but some things had definitely crossed his bottom line, and he needed to make that clear.

He wasn't sure whether it was a clash of views, but even though he kept stressing the importance of life, the female zerg still didn't know how to cherish his body. He relied on his strong vitality and abused himself recklessly.

Xi Ze said he wanted to live, but he was only living for the sake of living, perhaps for revenge, perhaps for other purposes. But no matter what, he wasn't... truly trying to get better.

The female zerg in his arms stiffened for a moment. He gasped for breath with difficulty, then said in a broken voice, "What should I do... Maybe you can punish me, and stop when you're no longer angry?"

"You simply don't know what I'm talking about."

Ye Er couldn't be bothered to even lift his eyelids. He simply pushed the female zerg out of his arms so that he could lean against the wall and sit with his legs bent, and began to wash the area in front of the female zerg that was oozing blood.

He never seems able to save him.

The thought left Ye Er somewhat frustrated, but since the problem couldn't be avoided, he could only try to find a way to solve it. There was no shortcut, so there was no use in being anxious.

It was just like when he had decided to pick up the stray puppy that clung to him and bring it home: he had already prepared to take on the responsibility of caring for it. He wouldn't dwell on how much money or energy he put in. He would just keep moving forward and live a good life.

Xi Ze, however, dodged the stream of water washing over him, clutched the hem of the male zerg's pajamas, and hugged him close. The wetness from his body spread across the pajamas, leaving behind a large, damp stain.

He said softly, "Don't be like this... tell me."

"Now you know how annoying it is to leave things half-said, too?"

Ye Er sneered at him but didn't keep holding back his words.

"It's not about your secret reconstruction. The problem is your attitude toward your own body and life. Military females don't die easily, but can't they still feel pain? Can't you cherish yourself a little?"

Xi Ze's whole body shook, and he blinked slowly, as if in disbelief.

The things he had been subconsciously avoiding, the things he hadn't dared to think about deeply, had been laid bare by the male zerg, exposed for him to see.

It left him with no way to play dumb, act clueless, or muddle through.

It was an unconcealed, burning sincerity, hot enough to scorch the heart.

After a while, he couldn't help smiling slightly.

It's obvious he stood to gain nothing, and he was even a complete burden. Why was Ye Er able to do this?

He cared about his feelings purely, almost without expecting anything in return. He even got angry and worried on his behalf.

He suddenly remembered the long-forgotten memory fragments that had been unearthed earlier.

He had thought they were just trivial details, worn away by the relentless wars, and that he had long forgotten the specifics and what he had felt at the time.

But it seemed that wasn't the case.

He had never forgotten.

And at least before those five years of all black and no daylight,* in the last second before he "died," gazing at the blood-red sky, he had still been yearning for a single glance of pity from that false, stingy love.

*A world without justice.

But the crows feasting on the battlefield had no pity for the corpse's misery. The genius general, once clad in a cape of glory, was dead, leaving only a broken, riddled human shell behind.

Fortunately, fortunately…

That snowy night, Ye Er had passed by that dark alley and, as if by chance, saved him from death's door.

It was as if the cold, cruel god, seeing him alone and desolate for half a lifetime, had finally felt a flicker of compassion for his tragic, fallen state.

Xi Ze's eyes drifted shut, a slight smile playing on his lips.

Beside his ear, he could hear the male zerg grumbling softly, complaining that he always left things half-said, which was really annoying. Then, just as naturally, the conversation shifted to when would be a good time to schedule a doctor's appointment for a checkup…

He was thoroughly moved.

This would have been unimaginable just a few weeks ago, or even in the first half of his life.

There were no grand confessions, no fake sweet nothings, and not even much open affection.

But this male zerg was so gentle yet strong, principled, and full of empathy, radiating light like a star.

Through a thin layer of fabric, he could feel the heartbeat so close by.

Like an incredibly stable anchor, the other end pulled him back from falling to his end, with a torn body and crushed bones, dying without a burial place.

"Are you even listening to what I'm saying?"

Ye Er tilted his head slightly to look at the shoulder. For some reason, the female zerg had been spacing out for a while.

He recalled the female zerg's startling, shocking* landscape reconstruction and felt a little worried about what kind of aftereffects it might leave.

*"惊世骇俗" (jīng shì hài sú): this idiom literally translates to "startling the world and shocking customs." It's used to describe something extremely unusual, unexpected, or even shocking.

"...Did the mental landscape reconstruction really succeed? You're not going to turn into a fool, are you?"

"How could I?" Xi Ze buried his face in Ye Er's chest and said with a muffled laugh. "I feel great now... better than ever."

Ye Er raised one eyebrow and clicked his tongue lightly. "It's over. You really did turn into a fool."

He turned off the water valve, pulled the bath towel down, draped it over the female zerg, then called out to 015 outside. A moment later, there was a hurried rolling sound.

Xi Ze obediently lowered his head and let him rub his wet hair. Remembering the subtle changes he had noticed recently, a hint of gloom flickered in his eyes.

He didn't know how much that idiot had noticed, or what desperate measures he might take, but the outcome wouldn't change in the slightest.

Five years ago, Antoine hadn't shot him dead, and that was the biggest mistake of his life.

Soon…

During this period of recuperation, he could feel his damaged healing ability gradually recovering, and the speed at which his wounds healed was increasing.

As long as I'm given a month, or even less, everything will be back on track.

Very soon.

Author's note: I won't say whose heart is pounding.

The general looks fierce and strict (and he is), but once someone is in his heart, he'll give his all, pouring out his heart and soul.

His comrades, fellow students, teachers, and even his female father: the General protects them all to the best of his ability. But children who don't cry never get special treatment, and sincere hearts are always left in the corner, gathering dust.

Ye Ye is like that too, but in the future, they'll be able to redeem and cherish each other. The author just loves this kind of theme... Inviting everyone to eat some delicious food together (wipes drool).

☰