APUTFFZG Chapter 46.1

The soft golden sunlight poured in like water, filtering through the diamond-patterned curtains and casting faint, swaying shadows on the wall and sofa.

It was a cozy silence.

A breath brushed past him, carrying a familiar, light, sweet scent.

Xi Ze's eyelashes fluttered slightly as he silently opened his eyes. What filled his vision was Ye Er's deeply sleeping face.

The male zerg was sleeping deeply. Compared to his calm, gentle demeanor when awake, the slight redness at the corners of his eyes and his slightly pursed lips made him look as if he had suffered some grievance in his dreams.

It easily made the bottom of Xi Ze's heart feel sour and soft, stirring a desire to pull him into an embrace and kiss him tenderly.

Xi Ze traced the sleeping face of the male zerg with his gaze for a while before realizing that Ye Er was sleeping on the outer, extension side of the sofa.

Ye Er hadn't changed out of yesterday's shirt. One side of the collar was askew from sleep, and the quilt covering him was messily rolled up and wrinkled. Yet his posture remained completely relaxed and comfortable.

He knew Ye Er had gone to the auction house the day before. But fearing detection, and given the strict security there, his undercover team had only secretly surrounded the building, waiting to rush in if anything unusual happened.

The information sent back did not reveal what Ye Er had actually done.

Xi Ze had sat on the sofa for most of the night, waiting for news that the male zerg had returned safely before closing his eyes for a nap.

During that time, he had seemed to sense some movement, but after catching a strong whiff of caramel scent, an overwhelming fatigue and dizziness had quickly washed over him... and now here he was.

"Umm..."

Just as he was pondering this, a vague nasal sound came from in front of him.

Ye Er squinted against the sunlight piercing his eyes as he groggily buried himself under the quilt.

Soon, a warm hand covered his eyelids, shielding him from the sunlight. But the action inadvertently woke him up a little.

"Xi Ze?"

Sure enough, a familiar, low, hoarse voice came from beside his ear, making the tips of Ye Er's ears twitch. "Good morning, Male Lord."

"Good morning..."

Ye Er answered, slowly waiting for his consciousness to return. After a moment, he reached out and pulled the female zerg's hand down, turning to face Xi Ze.

"Don't you notice any changes in yourself?"

Before him, the male zerg's face looked like a painting, the remnants of a smile scattered at the corners of his eyes, lazy and exceptionally good-looking in the morning light.

Xi Ze was momentarily lost in thought before he processed the question, and he propped himself up in confusion. "What changes..."

The next second, his pupils constricted sharply.

The female zerg before him was completely frozen, caught between confusion and disbelief. He was so shocked that even his eyelashes froze, still for over ten seconds without reacting.

With a dazed expression, he reached to touch his Adam's apple, his fingertips trembling uncontrollably—

There had originally been a black collar lodged there, a mark of humiliation and degradation, but now it was completely gone.

That collar had been too tight, constantly pressing against the main artery in his neck while also constricting the trachea and esophagus. It had brought an uncomfortable suffocation that made it impossible for him to forget the shame for a moment.

But now the collar around his neck had vanished without a trace.

Freedom.

This was the feeling of freedom that had been absent for five long years.

"Sorry, I didn't spend New Year's with you last night. Consider this compensation."

Ye Er turned over and lay flat on his back, looking at the female zerg's dazed, confused expression, then chuckled lazily.

The words seemed to wake the female zerg from his reverie. The nearly frozen golden eyes moved like a knife fiercely shattering thick ice, scattering countless shards of glass everywhere.

Turbulent, crystal-clear tears slid unconsciously from those eyes, refracted by the sunlight into a glittering sheen. Each drop reflected the slightly arched eyebrows and curved eyes of the zerg before him.

"Male Lord..."

The female zerg shook his head unconsciously, murmured under his breath.

A strong sourness surged from the male zerg's throat up to his nose and tear glands, piercing through his thick defenses and making him lose control of his expression for a moment.

Ye Er took a deep breath and slowly relaxed his entire body.

He no longer looked at Xi Ze, afraid he might inadvertently reveal signs of reluctance and spoil the joy of the female zerg regaining his freedom.

But everything he wanted to say next was full of sincerity.

These were promises he had made to the female zerg long ago, and he had never shied away from letting Elaine or any other zerg know—

"You're free. You aren't anyone's female slave and don't need to be bound to anyone."

"This is my New Year's gift to you."

"Happy New Year, Xi Ze."

Ye Er spoke very seriously, word by word.

He knew what this meant for Xi Ze, so even if it took great effort to obtain, he had to do it.

No matter whether Xi Ze would leave afterward, he had never considered whether it was worth it.

The next second, Ye Er's vision blurred, and a heavy weight suddenly pressed against his chest, making him let out a muffled grunt.

He instinctively reached out and grabbed a handful of soft hair at his neck. "Ahem... Xi Ze?"

The female zerg was hugging him tightly, his palms pressing snugly on his shoulders and waist, fitting him seamlessly into his embrace.

The scorching body temperature and uncontrollable shivers came through the quilt with utmost clarity.

Warm liquid rolled down his neck, flowing in a way that could scorch the flesh.

The tip of Ye Er's heart trembled. He couldn't help reaching out to embrace him back, trying to comfort him in a tone that feigned ease.

"Why are you so moved? Anyway, after your injury heals, you'd find a way to remove the female slave collar yourself. I just brought about the same result a bit earlier, nothing more."

No, it was different.

"Male Lord... Male Lord..."

Xi Ze pressed his face hard against the male zerg's shoulder, desperately suppressing the fragmented cries in his throat, but he couldn't stop the surge of emotions or the salty tears rolling continuously from his eyes.

Enduring sadness and helplessness to steal that freedom, while presenting it as a precious gift, and solemnly celebrating this newfound freedom...

It was completely different.

Suddenly, he didn't want to hold back anymore.

He had been blindly concerned about the future, societal norms, excuses, social restrictions, and so on, fearing that he might scare the male zerg or that the male zerg would leave his side. He had dared not reveal his burning love, torturing himself and hesitating to advance.

This wouldn't move the male zerg in his arms.

And he finally understood...

Whether it's the moon or the stars, if they like you, they will naturally shower you with gentle, lovely, splendid light.

But if one tries to forcibly possess them through power and wealth, it will only lead to mutual destruction.

But at least...

Ye Er had been gently patting the female zerg's back when his wrist was suddenly grabbed.

Then that damp sensation left the side of his neck and eagerly rubbed against his earlobe and cheek—

"What...?"

The unfinished words were crushed between his lips and teeth, turning into soft, indistinct nasal sounds.

Ye Er's eyes widened slowly, and he looked somewhat dazed at Xi Ze above him.

The female zerg's face still bore clear tear marks, but he couldn't care less about wiping them away. His lashes were clumped together from the water, and his drooping golden eyes reflected Ye Er's stunned face.

"Nng... mmm..."

The female zerg's lips rubbed and nibbled against his in a disordered manner, hot breaths hitting his face repeatedly. A rich, clear, bitter scent intertwined endlessly with the diffuse caramel scent of the pheromones.

Ye Er tasted a hint of saltiness on the tip of his tongue, but it was quickly crushed by the sweet saliva.

He was kissed until he was dizzy and confused, almost unable to gasp for air.

The high heat from the female zerg turned his brain to mush, completely robbing him of the ability to think or struggle as he was slowly pulled in and immersed.

They kissed for a long time, until the root of Ye Er's tongue felt numb from being sucked. In a confused haze, he reached out to push the female zerg away, and only then did their intimately pressed lips and tongues barely separate.

Ye Er covered his eyes with the back of his hand, panting in a daze for a while. After some time, his racing heartbeat finally returned to normal, and he hesitated before lowering his hand.

"Why so suddenly...?"

His voice was somewhat hoarse, but halfway through speaking, he stopped abruptly. "Never mind."

"You were just too excited earlier. When emotions run high, you might do things you usually wouldn't... That's perfectly normal."

Ye Er unconsciously licked his swollen lower lip and lowered his eyes to avoid Xi Ze's gaze.

He didn't know why he felt some resistance to discussing the matter. Before Xi Ze could explain, he had already prepared a good justification.

He even hoped the female zerg would understand this rejection so they could conveniently turn to the next page.

"You know I'm not."

But the ever-perceptive female zerg chose not to comply.

He exerted a bit of force to straighten Ye Er's shoulders and looked straight into those pitch-black eyes, his voice carrying a hint of pleading. "...Male Lord."

"Not anymore."

Ye Er whispered.

Xi Ze paused for a moment. "Not what?"

"I'm no longer your Male Lord. We're now... nothing to each other."

The male zerg before him looked at a loss, his lips pressing together intermittently.

The complete relaxation he had felt upon waking had vanished, replaced by an invisible vigilance and coldness.

Xi Ze had never seen such an expression on Ye Er's face.

Ye Er was like a cat facing a large, ferocious beast, tense and cautious, wanting to flee yet frozen in place, able only to force itself to cope with the situation mentally.

He softly denied it. "Removing the female slave collar doesn't mean ending the relationship. My mental landscape and pheromones have already been marked with Male Lord's imprint. They won't be easily erased."

But Ye Er didn't seem to pay attention to what he was saying. His gaze drifted aimlessly past the female zerg toward the wall behind him, his expression cold and somewhat absent-minded.

"You forced me just now. I'm a bit angry."

He said it slowly, placing emphasis on the word "forced," but his eyes flickered with uncertainty.

"I didn't use much force. If you really wanted to refuse, you could have pushed me away directly."

Xi Ze leaned closer, tentatively nudging his nose against the side of the male zerg's face, as if offering affectionate comfort.

"But you didn't refuse... not then, and not now."

At this, Ye Er finally withdrew his gaze and locked eyes with the female zerg for a moment before suddenly asking, "Do you like me?"

He was too direct. Xi Ze was caught off guard, and before he could respond, he was interrupted again.

"Why do you like me? What do you like about me?"

"I didn't do anything. There's nothing about me worth liking. I just happened to save you. While nursing your injuries, we may have crossed boundaries, but each time it was out of necessity. You know that yourself."

He still held on to the thoughts he'd had from the beginning when explaining to the female zerg...

He wasn't a savior. He couldn't save all those lives suffering in deep waters and scorching flames. He had just happened to run into Xi Ze and extend a hand.

If this bit of alms, this tenderness and help from those at the top, could be exchanged for boundless love and loyalty, then this world was truly cruel and arrogant.

Ye Er didn't want that.

Moreover, he didn't think there was anything lovable about himself.

Obviously, everything was just a series of unfortunate coincidences. He clearly couldn't save anyone, not even himself, as his own life was also in shambles.

"You might be experiencing the suspension bridge effect* because we met during a time of crisis, or you may be confusing gratitude for being rescued with affection..."

*Suspension bridge effect” (吊桥效应) is a psychology term (the Capilano bridge experiment). A psychological phenomenon in which people mistake the arousal caused by fear or danger for romantic attraction.