Every Meal - Chapter 11: To Seduce

Translator: Deyonna

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"He really touched your underwear—!? What the fuck that's so perverted! But—hehe, I like it."

"I don't know, I feel like... my underwear was washed the day before yesterday. It's not that you don't know the weather here, it should have been dry a long time ago... But after he left last night, I went to the toilet and found that the position of the hanger had changed, and the underwear was still a little moist!"

Kong Qiao was lying on his stomach on the sofa, talking on the phone with his best friend for a long time.

He met his best friend[1] on a chat app. Originally, Kong Qiao wanted to try to see if he could find true love, but he didn't expect to find a good friend of the same type.

[1] Could also mean a same-sex friend. 

He also stopped thinking about true love and just kept in touch with this same type of person in the same city, and the two would occasionally come out for afternoon tea, and howl together about their tragic situation of not having a 1[2].

[2]Btw for those people who are new to danmei 1 is the top and 0 is the bottom. As to why, it's pretty understandable, I guess?

At this moment, he was lying on his stomach on the sofa, his feet were swaying upward in the air. His face was flushed with a trace of excitement while talking on his phone.

"Not only that, he even took the initiative to lick my fingers!"

Kong Qiao recalled the way the man looked when he was eating fruit. With his toes curled up in mid-air, he whispered, "I think… he's seducing me!"

"Fuck, then what are you waiting for?"

The voice on the other end of the phone almost broke, and he was more excited than the protagonist. "Why can I still receive your call today!? Shouldn't you sleep like a rag doll for a day and a night!?"

Kong Qiao: "..."

Ragdoll your mother.

"He covered me with a blanket and left!!"

Looking back now, Kong Qiao also wanted to bite a handkerchief. Why did that person just fix his clothes, cover him with a quilt and turn off the sound of the TV, then run away!?

He was lying there, a little fairy boy that was as delicate as a flower and refined as a precious jade. Is he blind!

At times like that, he's simply——

"Not a man!"

At the other end, his gay friend said the second half of the words that were in his head, and then said in a gossipy manner, "Ai, could it that he can't get it up?"

"Scram!"

Kong Qiao sat up and clenched his fist in the air, gritted his teeth, and made a solemn vow. "Impossible!”

How can it be possible!

Those pectoral muscles! Those arms! And that waist strength!

Absolutely impossible.

It must be very good, good as good as it can be.

At this time, Kong Qiao could still anxiously defend Tu Liang's "capabilities" with righteous words from the bottom of his heart.

But for not long, after he personally experienced the man's "very good", he really wanted to take back his words and begged him not to be so good.

"Ai, you say, is that butcher really in such good shape?"

His best friend, on the other end, still wanted to gossip and asked, "Isn't it the kind of butcher with a face full of fat in TV dramas?"

"Scram, the man in my family is strong, not fat, all right!"

Kong Qiao subconsciously continued to defend the man. "Although he doesn't normally like to smile and he wears those overalls for slaughtering pigs and sheep, which looks a bit scary but…"

Kong Qiao recalled the man's attitude towards him every time the two met, and couldn't help but raise the corners of his mouth. "He treats me very well."

"Aiyo, aiyo, you haven't been married off to his family yet and yet your heart has already run away!"

The voice on the other end of the phone was a bit sour, and then he sighed to himself aggrievedly. "When will a good brother come and take me away, ah!"

Kong Qiao quickly cheered up his best friend. "That's not a problem. You can see rich and handsome guys every day at your job. Maybe one day you will be able to take away both man and money!"

Kong Qiao's best friend's internet name is Xiao Weiqu[3], and his real name is Chu Yao.

[3] It means to feel wronged or aggrieved.

He works as a sales clerk at a luxury counter in a shopping mall.

Due to his working environment and his appearance, he was often wronged, and he already practiced the magical skills of smiling on his face while criticizing someone's mother in his heart[4]. Only in front of his best friend, Kong Qiao, could he relax and reveal his heart.

[4]. mmp (mā mài pī) expletive. Either means MF or WTF.

"Knock it off. Every day, it's either I receive the bald boss or the sixty-year-old rich woman." Chu Yao rolled his eyes at the other end. "They either had other women or had an adulterous affair with their secretaries. Every time the rich have demands, we have to devote ourselves to fulfilling them. You tell me, how can those rich people be so superficial?

Kong Qiao was still lying on his stomach on the sofa, poking at the Moments[5] while replying to him.

[5] A social networking function of the smartphone app WeChat. It's the same as IG stories.

"I also want to be such a superficial person."

"Friend! You've changed!" Chu Yao felt aggrieved at the other end. "So love will really disappear, huh?"

Kong Qiao got goosebumps from his baby talk, and said, "Ew" in disgust, "Don't act like a spoiled child to me. We won't get any results."

Chu Yao is actually a cool and handsome guy.

With a slender waist and long legs, when you look at it, he looked like a fashionable, handsome little brother. Since he started working, he has received hints of goodwill from many clients, overtly and secretly.

If it wasn't for his odd habit, he might have already bent his waist for money.

"Ai, you say, how can you meet true love by just buying vegetables? I open the door to welcome customers every day. Why haven't I plucked any good fruit yet?"

Chu Yao stood at the counter of the shopping mall every day to welcome and send off people. He undoubtedly met many more people than Kong Qiao ever did in his company, but he was still single after a long time.

Although he occasionally makes an appointment with someone on the chat app to relieve loneliness, it is just a one-night friendship. He still hasn't met anyone who could really accept his hobby, so he simply entertained the world.

Sigh.

Chu Yao squatted behind the security door of the shopping mall, holding his mobile phone in his hand, lit a lady's cigarette, and sighed with melancholy.

But he didn't see. In the unlit stairwell, there was a burly black figure in the corner, who was also swallowing clouds and blowing out fog[6] like him.

[6] A fancy way of saying smoking

As Kong Qiao's best friend, Chu Yao gave Kong Qiao an idea——

He asked Kong Qiao to find a way to do some flirty maneuvers to seduce and see if Tu Liang would get hard.

As long as he gets hard, what happens next will be easy to say.

At worst, he would sleep with a straight man. Anyway, Kong Qiao can also enjoy such a satisfying body, which is not a loss.

Kong Qiao was taken aback by these natural remarks.

Although I don't understand it, it seems pretty awesome.[7]

[7]A popular internet slang.

——No wonder Xiao Weiqu's so blooming even without a partner.

Kong Qiao thought to himself, it turns out that people have accumulated practical experience in this way.

He nodded seriously, feeling that he had to work hard to leap from a theoretical king to a practical little fairy with actual combat experience.

But the question is, how to try it…

Kong Qiao thought over and over at home for the whole weekend, but he couldn't figure out a direction to follow.

Is it possible to call someone home again and pretend to be asleep again?

Then let the clothes slip down a little?

No, no, that won't do.

He would look like an exhibitionist at home!

Kong Qiao quickly shook this idea out of his mind. He was determined to maintain his image as a little fairy boy.

Little did he know that the person he was thinking about had already seen through his turbulent heart, and was just waiting for an opportunity to unwrap and eat him.

And this opportunity will come soon.

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Translator's Corner: Updates from now on will have some delays a day or two as my health had been really bad lately. Headaches keep plaguing me every day and over the counter meds don't work anymore. I haven't consulted a doctor yet but I'll try to take care of my body first and see what happens, maybe it's just skipped meals, eating unhealthy foods frequently, and sleeping late taking a toll on my body.

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